Friendship Beyond the Feed

Have you considered how social media has broken down the art of friendship? And, have you thought about what that can mean for your child’s future? Everything we share online gives the world another little piece of us. And over time, it can blur the line between what is public and what was never meant to leave our home.

Over the past two years, I have intentionally pulled myself off social media. In that time, some friends have felt that I am not as open anymore or that I am not sharing as much about what is happening within our four walls. And, that is absolutely true.

So much of what people are putting out there on social media has changed the way people view and treat relationships. Those growing up with social media defining their community have somehow blurred the lines between what it means to know someone, and what it means to ‘follow’ someone. So much so that when they stop seeing you post, they feel like they don’t ‘know’ you because they cannot follow what is going on in your life. Like you must be keeping a secret from them. And, then, many times they decide their own narrative from there.

Nothing could be further from the truth, but rather, as in my case, getting back to true, authentic and meaningful relationships where the narrative isn’t one sided and the emotions are real and honest is my hope.

There is a quote I often share with my oldest, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you,” from Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People.

Our new world is lacking true friendships because we don’t know how to invest in others. We think liking their posts or commenting on their kids’ pictures somehow involves us in their lives. It doesn’t- it lets them into the world we want them to see, and it distracts us all from the reality within our homes.

The hard work of friendships that know what is going on outside what you are posting has been given up by most in exchange for the quicker and easier task of tapping on their phone an approving nod. Genuine friendships where you are both more interested in the other person than trying to tell your story, make for a beautiful community for you and your family.

When you have these true, authentic communities for your kids to grow up in, your home will be one that is both surrounded by love and care and filled with honesty and no unnecessary pretense.

This is the home and the community our Father wants for us. Not the one where we are posting beautiful pictures and waiting for the likes to come up.

Think about the future you want for your kids and the people you want surrounding them. Do you want those hard things they go through to be walked out with a community in real life, or false truths spread on their social media as they deal with trials at home alone?

It’s the decision we are all making every day when we choose where to invest our time. Are we caring about people and their heart in person, or are we liking and envying posts from afar? Remember, from the time your kids are born, they are watching and they will live out their friendships in the manner in which they are accustomed to you. It starts at home and it starts with you.

Raise them with purpose today that extends far beyond a community of likes in an online world.